Forgiveness

I think it's safe to say one of the most difficult aspects to life is forgiveness.  We have all experienced some form of hurt in our life caused by someone we trust, someone we love and someone we think would never hurt us.  Yet when we think that highly of a human being we set them up to fail because the only way off a pedestal is down.  It's been almost 10 years since the person whom I never imagined would cause me such pain did just that. I give the timeline because such hurt doesn't go away over night.  When we rely on our own strength to get through the tough times we hold on to the hurt and anger for days that turn into weeks that turn into months that turn into years.  We store it up and think to ourselves "just wait until the day he sees my face again."  Yes sadly that thought went through my head on several occations.  But here's the good news in this: we are forgiven.  We have a savior who allowed himself to be hung on a cross in order that we maybe forgiven.  So I ask you this, "Who do you struggle to forgive? " Who is it that you are waiting for an apology from?  My guess is this person has caused you pain, has done the unthinkable, or just simply failed causing you to feel you are owed something. Now ask yourself have I failed?  Have I caused the almighty creator to turn his head in shame?  We are human beings designed with with a nature to turn to our sinful desires, that's what Ephesians 2:1-3 is all about.  So we can't say we haven't failed or done the unthinkable in the site of our God because He's seen it but we are forgiven.  The cost is Christ on the cross, which is the pedestal we need to cling to. How can we hold on to grudges and anger from so many years ago when the debt was already paid?  I thank Jesus Christ my Savior who has purchased my forgiveness which allows me to freely forgive.

Christian = Disciple

Here is a struggle I have.  When I say I'm a Christian, does it ring true in my life?  When people look at me is the light of Christ radiating from my being.  I love how my husband describes my earthly father's faith, he says you can just smell Christ on him.  I wonder if that is true in my own life?  Part of this frustration comes from looking back to my past.  I said I was a Christian for many years because I went to church, directed children's church choir, went to Sunday School, I was even 'confirmed'.  Now I question what that confirmation test actually meant.  (I think I missed 23 questions on the test and yet the church still confirmed me as a 'solid believer'.)  As I've grown in my faith the past few years I have come to realize I was not a Christian.  It was a sad realization to come to but so true.  In a recent sermon, my husband preached from Ezra 7 and 1 Peter 2 (if you would like to read more about how these 2 particular passages relate here's a link to our church blog).  The purpose of mentioning his sermon was one point that struck me: being a Christian is being a disciple of Jesus Christ.  A disciple is not a higher up, better, or more knowledgable Christian, a disciple is a Christian.  First Peter chapter 2 helps us see this:

9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Christians are the "chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession," we are called "out of darkness into his marvelous light".  These are powerful words and truths of our faith.  When taking on the title of 'Christian', we need to think about the weight that comes with the word.  We are saved from our sinful nature and saved to an eternal existence in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  We are God's people, saved by his grace but that's not where we stop.  Let's look at Ezra 7:10 to see where we go from here:

For Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the LORD, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel.

Ezra's desire should be our desire as Christians: to study, know and teach the word of God.  We are not excused from studying our Bible, going to church, praying, or encouraging others in Christ because we are not that 'type of Christian'. There is no other type.  When we take on the title of Christian our desires should change to want more of Christ and to tell others about him.  We can follow Christ's example in discipling fellow Christians by coming together to study His word, to pray for one another, to hold each other accountable, and to build up the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:11).

Praise God who called us out of darkness and into his mavelous light!

Where to find the Gospel

If someone were to ask me, "How would you articulate the Gospel?" I admit I would struggle for a moment.  To fully and correctly explain the gospel we really need to start in Genesis and explain to Revelation.  Sixty-six books of the Bible.  But thankfully certain books and certain apostles clearly define the gospel.  Paul is very good at this, he's the author of the 2 places I would turn to to give a shortened explanation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The first place I would turn to is Ephesians. Ephesians is my favorite book of the Bible, as I explained in my first blog post ever.  Chapter 1 of Ephesians explains our purpose. I posted on this purpose in "To the praise of his glorious grace".  Chapter 2, verses 1-10 give a description of the gospel that helped me to understand why I was so lost for so long and that it's the grace of God that saves.  I have yet to post on the rest of Ephesians but the 6 chapters do an excellent job of explaining the gospel.

The second place I would turn is another book written by Paul, 2 Corinthians 4: 1-6, which states:

1 Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. 2 But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. 4 In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5 For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 

I'm currently studying 2 Corinthians with my adult discipleship group.  One lesson we discussed focused on this passage.  This was a blessing for me to reread after having a conversation with one of my youth girls about how to explain the gospel and where to go to defend our explanation. 

Here we see that God's word is truth, we are not to change or distort what God has written as truth.  This truth is open for those who turn to the Bible to see the truth.  Those who do not believe and are perishing are blinded by, "the god of this world" who is Satan.  We know that Satan's primary goal is to divide the church of Christ's followers and to pull us away from Christ.  Satan is what keeps us from Christ.  But those who are in Christ deny themselves and joyfully serve the Lord Jesus Christ.  It is God who changes our hearts as verse 6 states.  He shines the "knowledge of the glory of the God in the face of Jesus Christ", our faith comes from knowing the glory of God and that knowledge comes from knowing Jesus Christ, who is "the propitiation of our sins", as stated in 1 John 2:2.   

This isn't the end of the gospel story, but its a start.  What scriptures would you turn to in order to express your understanding of the gospel?

I praise God for his written word, which isn't simply a book of rules and regulations to follow but a true story of a man who left his throne in the heavenly realms to come into a world of hatred in order to save those whom he loved from eternal punishment by dying on a cross and rising from the dead.

Relying on God Alone

I'm a little rusty as far as blogging goes.  Its been a few months!  Here's a passage from John 5 that struck me recently.  This is Jesus speaking:

30 “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me. 31 If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true. 32 There is another who bears witness about me, and I know that the testimony that he bears about me is true. 33 You sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. 34 Not that the testimony that I receive is from man, but I say these things so that you may be saved. 35 He was a burning and shining lamp, and you were willing to rejoice for a while in his light. 36 But the testimony that I have is greater than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to accomplish, the very works that I am doing, bear witness about me that the Father has sent me. 37 And the Father who sent me has himself borne witness about me. His voice you have never heard, his form you have never seen, 38 and you do not have his word abiding in you, for you do not believe the one whom he has sent. 39 You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life. 41 I do not receive glory from people. 42 But I know that you do not have the love of God within you. 43 I have come in my Father's name, and you do not receive me. If another comes in his own name, you will receive him. 44 How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?

This struck me because it helps me to understand and know what it means to be a Christian.  Here Jesus even states, "I can do nothing on my own."  Jesus Christ, the Son of God can do nothing without the will and help of the Father.  He follows that statement with, "I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me."  Throughout the gospels we see Jesus heal the sick, feed thousands of people with just 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, he raises people from the dead and if that's not enough he walks on water and calms the storms.  And here in John, Jesus admits, "I can do nothing on my own."  The miracles we see done by Jesus are not done alone by the man Jesus, they are done by the will of the Father.  So how can we humans sit and think we can save ourselves?  If the Son of God is nothing without the Father, how are we anything without the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit?

I believe Jesus answers this for us here in verse 38, "And you do not have his word abiding in you." And in verse 42, "But I know that you do not have the love of God within you." There are so many times we say we are Christian because we believe in the story of Jesus.  But the question we have to ask ourselves is this: does the Word of God abide in our hearts, souls and minds?  Does the Word and Love of God radiate from our being?  We are so quick to trust in our own human abilities.  We think 'I give to the church, I'm a good person, I've done my good deeds' but none of that gets us God.  The simple but crazy thing to wrap our human brains around is that we need God to get God.  Living and breathing the Word of God gives God glory.  But of course there is a twist to this as well.   

In verse 41 Jesus states, "I do not receive glory from people," I have to admit I chuckle at this a little bit because we forget that God doesn't need us.  God gets glory out of his own will and purposes. Our good deeds are not our own.   Ephesians 2:8-10 states, "8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."  Here Paul is stating that even our faith in God is given to us by God, we cannot boast in our faith or our works because even our good works are prepared by the hand of God.

So going back to how this reminds me of what is means to be a Christian: And I need the love and Word of God to consume my life, without God I am nothing.  I don't think it gets any easier than that.  I thank and praise God for his abundance of mercy and grace that he bestows on my life daily.

The Most Important Commandment

We recently attended the Desiring God National Conference entitled "Think: the life of the mind and the love of God."  The messages we heard throughout the weekend encouraged us to think about our relationship with God, with fellow believers, with non-believers, and with believers of different religions.  John Piper's ultimate goal of the conference was "thinking for the sake of loving God and people."

And here is how God has been working in my heart since.  One of the verses Piper focused on during the weekend just so happens to be to a catchy tune by Lincoln Brewster, "Love the lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with your mind and with all your strength."  So inevitably the song has been in my head since leaving Minneapolis and to make matters worse stuck in my head this afternoon.  Today, I could feel God pressing me to dig into Mark as well.  We are taking our youth through the book of Mark this semester and I've been journaling through it.  Well what do you know, tonight in Mark 12 I came across this:

28 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” 32 And the scribe said to him, “You are right, Teacher. You have truly said that he is one, and there is no other besides him. 33 And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” 34 And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And after that no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Yes Lincoln Brewster is still ringing through my head, but I almost have more appreciation for the song.  For one it is taken directly out of Scripture and Jesus is telling us this is the most important thing for us to do. When we become Christians we ask what can we do?  This is it, "Love.  Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself."  That's it!  There is no prayer to pray, no card to sign, no amount of works or efforts to be put forth.  Just love!

Let's focus on the first and most important commandment given to us by God himself.  What does it mean or look like to love the Lord our God?  I'm excited because we can look in Mark where Jesus says in chapter 8 verse 34 "let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me".  Loving seems so easy, but to deny myself?  That is a challenge.  This is a very tricky thing.  We know that God made us all in particular ways that individualize each of us, but we also need to remember why we're created.  

We are all created in the image of God.  We see this in Genesis 1, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (vs. 27).  The image of God. That is a big deal.  Too big to fully grasp. But the way I best understand it is that I am created to glorify God. God challenges us to put him before ourselves, our spouses, our boyfriends, our girlfriends, our kids in order to glorify him.  I like how Psalm 37:4 puts it, "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."  We read that and think God is happy with what makes us happy.  But ultimately we will find happiness in delighting in Him alone and then he will give us the desires that glorify him. (What's your fruit?)

By denying our self we are showing God our love, but how do we not make Christianity a list of do's and don'ts?  In the movie 'Meet the Robinsons', the character Wilbur always states, "That.. is an excellent question" when he simply wants to avoid answering any question asked to him, but I think I can give you an answer.  Look at what Galatians 6:14 states, "But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."

We turn to the Son of God.  There is nothing else we can offer but our love, because Jesus Christ was the ultimate sacrifice for our sinful, unloving hearts.  We can't make a check list or do/don't list because we would fail no matter how perfect we try to be.  Jesus was fully human and yet fully perfect because he was fully God.  We are not god of anything, not even our own lives.  So surrendering our hearts to Jesus Christ is what shows God our ultimate love.  We build our relationship with our mediator by knowing him, by loving him.  Praise to the Lord our God whose never-ending love is poured out in the blood of Jesus Christ!  

**check out the Desiring God link, they do have the messages we heard posted to watch or listen to!

The Bible says WHAT?

Have you ever had a 'holy crap moment' when reading scripture? Yes, I, a pastor's wife used the word crap, but that's really the only way to explain these moments (Thank you Paul Veal). My husband is a Calvinist. It was something he warned me about before we started dating. So I researched what Calvinism is and didn't have any issues with the five points of Calvinism. And really I believed they were true to what I read in scripture. I especially felt as though I understood predestination because of a personal experience I had with a medical mission trip. However, about 6-7 months into our marriage we were reading 1 Samuel together and in the second chapter we came across this:

22 Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 23 And he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. 24 No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. 25 If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?” But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for it was the will of the LORD to put them to death.

I remember my jaw dropping a bit, looking at my husband and stating, "What? It was the will of the LORD to put them to death? I don't know about that." Cory let me ponder for a bit but then we got into one of our 45 minute conversations in which he led me to Romans. We had read this book a few months prior but the verses that I'm pointing out now just didn't click like they did once I read 1 Samuel.

In Romans 8 there's a favorite verse that I know people turn to for comfort:

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

"All things work together for good", yes it's comforting especially in times when life just doesn't seem to make sense. We like to think that God is putting us through trials that will eventually end with our good. We expect the pain to go away, the money to flood in, and our marriages to be happy. But verse 29 gives an explanation of what the good is that God has intended for us, "he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son". Christ followers are called by the Father to be conformed into Christ, or called by God to be similar in the nature and character of God.

Romans 9 will help to explain a little more:

15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.

As humans with human nature, we are deserving of wrath. We are not deserving of forgiveness or being saved. But we have a merciful, gracious and loving Father who gives us the desire to know Him and love Him and want Him. He calls us to be his followers, to conform to his image, and to be joyful in living for his glory.

This is good news people! First, when we speak the gospel into people's lives we are doing what God calls us to do, but it's his job to soften the heart of the individual who we are speaking to. God's grace does the hard work, we just have to know his word and speak truth into those who are placed on our hearts. Secondly, it helps me to forgive myself. God knows my weakness and it's his intention to use my mistakes and faults to show me his grace. This isn't an excuse to continue in sin, when God reveals a sin in our life we are to run from the sin and straight to him.

There is a mystery to this as well, which I feel does need to be addressed. Just as Eli's sons would not listen because of the will of the Lord, there are people in our lives that will suffer the same ending. It's a hard thing to grasp. I know 1 Samuel is addressing God's justice and he is just for punishing those who do not repent and turn from their sin. But the question remains: is it truly justice if God's will is to keep them from fully hearing and knowing the gospel? I do firmly believe that God is just in all he does but I know I will not completely understand this until I am in the presence of my Savior

Thank you to our Father in heaven who has given us his Word in order to know him more and has revealed himself to us through his Son, Jesus Christ!

*Please share any "holy crap moments" you can remember...

Worldly Scars

Junior high was rough for me. There are times when I still can feel the scars that were left by those few short years of turmoil. As a teenage girl I wanted to fit it, to be cool, to hang with the 'in crew'. But there was also this desire in me to be different. And I know that it's what got me into trouble with the group I so desired to be a part of. At the time I claimed to be Christian but wasn't living the lifestyle, but I feel as though the urges to be different were put upon me by God. Christians are called to stand out from the world, but the world doesn't like those who differ.

I am currently in 1 John in my Journible and in chapter 3 John states, "Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you." This harsh blurb in the section of chapter 3, titled "Love One Another", had a cross reference that took me to the gospel of John chapter 15 where Jesus spoke:

18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. 21 But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have been guilty of sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Whoever hates me hates my Father also. 24 If I had not done among them the works that no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin, but now they have seen and hated both me and my Father. 25 But the word that is written in their Law must be fulfilled: ‘They hated me without a cause.’ 

Christ was rejected.  He was betrayed, beaten, the crowds mocked him and tore his clothes.  He was hated by a world of people who didn't get what they wanted out of his life on earth.  The crowd was filled with religious folks who wanted redemption from the Romans not from their own sin.  They didn't want to know or acknowledge their evil ways.  They lived obedient lives, they were elder brothers who lived the way they did to earn their 'get out of hell free card'.  Christ was persecuted.  Christ was nailed to a cross by a world that hated him.

So we are not to be surprised if we too are hated by the world.  Jesus states in verse 20, "If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you."  The world follows fleshly desires that we are called to turn from, and not just turn our head away but to run far from.  And so we when talk about saving sex for marriage or avoiding drunkenness for the sake of living for Christ, we look different.  Most of the time the ones who love indulging in the temptations of the flesh don't want to hear that they are living sinful lives, so we are rejected.

"But it sounds awful to live a life that keeps me isolated from being cool, from fitting in, from all the fun."  Once again I'm reminded of my middle school years which were temporary, just as this world.  When we leave earth and are placed in the presence of God, being cool according to worldly standards isn't going to matter.  Having a heart that is fully devoted to Christ will.

Psalm 37:4 states, "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."  Many will read this and think, "God wants me to be happy with what makes me happy."  Or an excuse for us to keep living our sinful ways.  But when Christ takes hold of our hearts he changes our hearts.  We are chosen out of this world, as John states in verse 19, chosen to be different than the rest of the world and we delight in that.  God gives us the desires of our hearts by changing our hearts and our desires that will glorify Christ which in turns gives us ultimate joy in Christ.  Praise to God almighty who chose me out of this world in order to joyfully live for his kingdom alone!